Longing and Loving
Longing and Loving
The sun is just beginning to peek out as the morning gloom burns away on this mid-June day. Folks who don’t live here think California is sunny all day every day. We locals know that’s just not true! We have Gray May and June Gloom but this year we also had some late Gray-pril. We may not have dramatic shifts in California, but the seasons do change here just like they do everywhere else. It’s more subtle and you have to pay attention to notice the variations.
I am always eager for the new season. I rejoice when the new arrives and then quickly grow impatient for whatever is next. That’s why Gray May and June Gloom are seasons of longing for me. I’m ready to be done with the chill of winter and can’t wait to feel the warmth of the summer sun. It doesn’t take much before I’m done with being hot and longing for the crisp snap of autumn.
The beatitude “Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted” conveys a sense of longing. Mourning is “lawile” in Greek but in Aramaic, which Jesus most likely spoke, it also has the meaning of those who long deeply for something to occur. “Netbayun” can mean comforted but also connotes being returned from wandering, united inside by love, feeling an inner continuity, or seeing the arrival of (literally, the face of) what one longs for. [1]
Spring is a season of coastal eddies and onshore flows in California. We often think of it as a time of change and growth, which carries with it a shadow of leaving things behind or saying goodbye. The daughter of a dear friend of mine just graduated from high school. These last months were difficult trying to meet the deadlines for college applications along with all the final exams, school projects, and senior “lasts.” When graduation day came it was a joyous celebration. But on the horizon is college and the bittersweet experience of sending a child out on their own. Longing and loving.
Let me offer a prayer practice that explores that sense of longing and loving. This is from Dr. Neil Douglas-Klotz:
Breathe in while feeling the word lawile (lay-wee-ley) [longing]; breathe out while feeling the word netbayun (net-bah-yoon) [loving]. Embrace all of what you feel and allow all emotions to wash through as though you were standing under a gentle waterfall. Follow this flow back to its source and find there the spring from which all emotion arises. At this source, consider what emotion has meaning for the moment, what action or nonaction is important now. [2]
Friends are moving away… longing and loving. In the church, we want to welcome new folks into our family of faith but that means being flexible about the traditions we hold dear… longing and loving. In our country, we long for the end of intractable division… longing and loving. The kingdom of God is already and also not yet. We long for the reign of God to be made complete while we work toward its fulfillment even now… longing and loving.
I hope you find this practice of focusing on the words and emotions of longing and loving helpful as the seasons of life continue to turn. Click here if you’d like to share this practice with Eddy on CPC’s Facebook page.
Go make peace, my friends.
Pastor Leanne
Douglas-Klotz, Neil. “The Sermon on the Mount – Weekly Summary.” Center for Action and Contemplation. July 24, 2021. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/the-sermon-on-the-mount-weekly-summary-2021-07-24/
Neil Douglas-Klotz, Prayers of the Cosmos: Meditations on the Aramaic Words of Jesus (HarperSanFrancisco: 1990), 50, 51, 52.
Community Presbyterian Church
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San Juan Capistrano. CA 92675
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